Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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