I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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