i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
