look no pants
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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