you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
