Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
