It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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