I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i drank out of a bidet.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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