Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No subtext here. People are naked.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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