why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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