God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
