Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize