Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
