Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
