i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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