How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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