hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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