You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize