I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
if only i could text you this smell
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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