maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I understand Curling. That high.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
