I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
