people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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