you guys were way drunker than both of me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
