hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
