Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
