My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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