Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
