Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
