ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
