Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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