I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
