i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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