I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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