just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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