Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
