Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
vagina is talking i cant
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
