she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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