her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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