Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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