Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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