The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
