i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
