i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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