Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
