Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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