Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
