She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
