I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
