Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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