Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
