just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize