He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He passed out mid-signature
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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