youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize