She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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