well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize