I look better un-naked...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
