Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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