One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
