how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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